Selfishness is it bad or is it good it depends on its intensity. We humans are a selfish creatures millions of years of evolution ingrained selfishness in us,

So is it a bad thing?

Ans: No, we all are selfish in one manner or another whether its for someone we care about or it is whether about us and our and ego.

Can someone really be selfish for someone else?

Ans: No, Selfishness is an intent of putting your needs above others and doing whatever it takes.

Is Intent a bad thing?

Ans: No, Intent itself is not a bad thing as long as it does not provide any harm. Expectation due to intent is a bad thing as it destroys inner peace and values inside a human making him /her object of results rather than action which in itself is a chaos in mind.

Now you all must be thinking what is selfishness how it provides joy?

Well it goes way deeper than just words as words are just decorations the meaning behind them is an act of soul.

Selfishness And Joy

As stated earlier we all are selfish one way or another. How is selfishness and joy interlinked are not they opposite?

No they are not opposite but they are interlinked one cannot exist without the latter as humans need water and food to thrive similarly these two are contrast.

How are they interlinked?

They are interlinked in many ways we do everything for ourselves not for others does not matter what we do in the end its for our own self, whether its giving gifts, eating that chocolate, meet your friends etc. It is for our own well being joy as it makes us happy we humans are a mysterious creatures whatever we do has an intent behind it as stated earlier about intent. Selfishness and joy are two different sides of same coin as whatever provides us joy is somewhat selfish and selfishness in and all itself is not a bad thing as long as it does not center your emotions and life around it.

Importance of selfishness in relationships.

Now a days, relationships are falling apart as one of the two partners is either a people pleaser or an extreme egoist destroying their bond and connection resulting in divorces.

But a healthy balance between selfishness and relationships can be established as little selfishness shows self esteem and self worth as people with these traits tend not to be people pleasers and who does not hate people pleasers? everyone does as they do not even know their worth how can they know someone else’s in the relationship.

How does selfishness help in modern day relationships?

It helps building a man to woman connection resulting in long lasting relationships.

it also shows self respect and boundaries meant to be not overhauled resulting in one partner respecting and loving other as love is there where there is respect and without it the relationship can not survive as it is the sole foundation of relationships that relationships these day lack.

How to practice selfishness?

We can practice selfishness by shifting the attitude towards it and taking it as a form of self care and self respect that is necessary in modern day world.

Different ways to practice selfishness and self care

1. Meditation
2. Walks
3. Exercise
4. Saying “No” whenever it is required
5. Personal Time
6. Have Self respect

There are numerous ways to practice self care in the form of selfishness

Balance Between selflessness and selfishness.

There is always a healthy balance between polar opposites as we have in selflessness and selfishness being too nice would not matter if you do not have any self respect and it is just pointless and meaningless because it does not hold any value to it, whereas extreme selfishness also causes harm by destroying one’s relationships with others and impacting their psychological needs leading to depression and other severe mental health diseases.

The balance between the two is necessary in one’s life for having healthy and peaceful bonds with others ultimately affecting person’s health indirectly.

Questions regarding selfishness.

Is it OK to be selfish with your time and energy?

Absolutely yes, as time and energy are the most precious thing one can give to another as it is the basic currency of human life and relationships with others, as one thrives on energy and currency . Being selfish and selective with your time and energy will help in a lot things especially in preserving peace and maintaining healthy attitude towards life.

How do one be selfish with his/her time and energy?

It is very easy by having standards and boundaries in their life and they are willing to walk away no matter how they love the other person as they don’t co-operate with their values and boundaries at first glance it may seem selfish but it will save a lot of someone’s time resources and energy for the right person and their future relationship.

Benefits of being selfish

As selfishness in itself does not have any benefits keeping it in moderation and using it wherever required certainly does have it’s benefits

• Preserving Peace
• establishing sense of respect
• self care
• self love
• better view of things
• development of personnel
• Providing self esteem
• Inner Hapiness
• Self worth realisation

Selfishness And Self destruction

There is only an inch difference between self destruction and selfishness. Selfishness is doing what makes you happy rather than what is necessary as whatever makes us happy is not always good and sometimes it can be self destructing enough to destroy your whole life.it includes addictions such as drug addiction, pornography addiction and alcohol addiction etc.

sometimes what makes us happy can also be self destructive and considering it healthy selfishness is a huge mistake.

We all are born with some bit of selfishness as children we used to do what makes us happy but as teens and adults we engaged with world and learnt different values different than our true self and as we tried to please others we forgot about the one who we needed to please the most it’s “ourselves”. We must learn from children the art of healthy selfishness and practice in our daily life to regain our true self back that is not bounded by others and the world

Selfishness and purpose two elements of a true life

purpose is the element that us humans live and strive for what is the life without purpose and life meaning is derived from its purpose direction in which you want to lead your life

most people now a days just to please people don’t follow their purpose and work the job they hate just to please people and follow the norms.

why?

Because they are not selfish enough to follow their dreams and purpose due to the fear of not fitting in the norm and being alone due to lack of selfishness they don’t have any self esteem and respect to follow their own dreams. Little bit of selfishness is required to follow your dreams and pursue the life you want for yourself and for others you care about.

selfishness enables us to follow our passion and pursue it without the fear of being judged by the others and being an outcast as growth comes with a price nothing is free in this world whether it is growth, pleasure, happiness, success.

Actions and selfishness.

Actions are the basic requirement of human nature and it is required in every form of human endeavor and encounters one’s lack of selfishness causes the lack of action resulting in sadness and unfulfillment of the human potential selfishness in itself is not bad but selfishness that influences your actions and mind is bad it will just destroy what you have.

How to channelize selfishness into right actions?

Channelizing it into your righteous actions can be a game changer for most of the people how do we channelize it? it’s simple just be selfish enough to act for your own good and do what is necessary not what you feel as human mind is a spectrum of different emotions as it’s primary instinct now a days is to avoid actions. You must be strong enough to control your selfish self destructive thoughts and take actions for your life.

How does not channelizing the selfishness into actions affect someone’s life?

Taking action can play a vital role in someone’s life and others influenced by his \her life.

If we let the self destructive selfishness take control over us not only we will destroy our life but we will destroy the life of those who are around us in an unimaginable fashion and leading to a life of unfulfilled potential leading to self resentment and ultimately to depression and anxiety.

Selfishness and Human Nature

Psychologists and philosophers all agree that selfishness is a part of human nature without it one can not survive as it is the primary instinct engraved in our DNA from millions of year of evolution and development. Whereas one preach the importance of selflessness one also must give a thought to selfishness’s importance as selfishness is an important part of our primary instinct for self care and self preservation to survive and it shows self respect that is an important factor missing in people now a days leading to suicides, depression, divorces, self hate etc.

Joy The ultimate drive for human beings

We human beings are the creature of adrenaline we choose dopamine from whether it is from having a chocolate, taking to others, travelling, hard work, having new experiences etc. It is clear from human nature that we all chase some kind of fun irrespective of its source.

What is Fun?

Fun is the state of joy acquired when doing the things that our mind says to so is it really important to do whatever our mind asks to have fun whether it might be destructive?

Most people confuse fun with self destruction and choose cheap pleasure over life lasting fun.

Is Chasing Fun a bad thing?

Absolutely no we humans are a mysterious creatures we always choose fun but we must be smart enough to differentiate between fun and cheap pleasure now a days most of people have confused self destructive addictions and habits as fun and later on they pay a huge price for their own actions as they were blinded by the curtain of fun and self destructive selfishness. That is why fun and selfishness goes hand by hand to impact a persons life whether it is positive or negative fun and selfishness has a huge impact on one’s life and the others influenced by it.

Examples of cheap pleasure labelled as fun.

• Alcohol
• Pornography
• Drugs
• Binge eating junk food
• Scrolling Through social media
• No exercise

How to avoid the destruction of your life by cheap pleasure?

It is a questions asked by people regardless of their age sex and geography, actually it is really simple you just have to be selfish enough to act on your well being and your development to provide yourself with the joy of everlasting fun and pleasure through hard work and competancy.

Conclusion

This blog summarized the importance of selfishness and joy in moderation to affect human mental health positively joy and selfishness are the two aspects of human nature meant to guide towards greatness and peak if channelized correctly and thoroughly into daily actions and endeavors of the human realm and beyond that the content mainly focused on selfishness its impact whether it is positive or negative on human life and was backed by ways to counter self destructive selfishness and focused on taking self love and care as not selfishness but as a necessity in someone’s life and its impact on every life if not followed correctly. Content main focus was on the impact of selfishness in relationships and how does it effect the relationship positively or negatively and effect of the latter in bonds that will be created in future with someone else or yourself it mentally bridges the gap between the understanding and communications between the partner making it difficult to actually connect and bond both mentally and spiritually. The last paragraphs focus on selfishness and its impact on the destination and journey of one towards a higher being of self and changing one’s life and others impacted by his/her. The content above highlighted the need of balancing both spectrums of human psychology and its own limitations and drawbacks to help one understand their goals and purpose in life and how to achieve it by keeping the fact of joy under consideration and the its healthy limitations for one’s better life and how to avoid cheap fun.

The content was about two elements of the life and their importance no matter how enlightened someone is or not but moderation of everything will always be a key to healthy and meaningful life.